Showing posts with label Tourist. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Tourist. Show all posts

Saturday, May 11, 2013

"The Need for English in the Hashemite Kingdom of Jordan"


 The Need for English
in The Hashemite Kingdom of Jordan


May 5, 2013 | Tasha Overpeck | IAS 3910
 under the supervision of
Dr. Joshua Landis and Rachel Stokes

The Hashemite Kingdom of Jordan has a long history with the English language and even though the Kingdom’s only official language is Modern Standard Arabic, which is taught in school, English is undoubtedly an undeclared second language.  Although by far not everyone in Jordan speaks English, the majority (especially in the capital city of Amman) can at least read and understand a good amount of the English that they hear or read.  All road signs are bilingual in Arabic and English and nearly very place you go there will be someone who can speak English enough to help you.
The history of Jordan started when the British decided to create a dependent regime to help order the tribes east of the Jordan River after World War I.[i] They then gave the British mandate to the son of Sherif Hussein bin Ali, Abdullah I bin al-Hussein who had been a close ally of the British.  The Kingdom of Jordan was granted independence in 1946 with Abdallah as their self-proclaimed king.  After King Abdallah’s death, his grandson, Husayn, became king at the age of eighteen in 1953.  It is said that King Hussayn had “impeccable English” because he studied at Harrow and Sandhurst, two well-known British schools, but at the same time spoke eloquent Arabic.[ii]  After his death in 1999, his second son took the thrown, King Abdullah the Second and according to many Jordanians, the current king actually has better English than he does Arabic since he was born to a British mother.
Regardless of the long political history of English being used amount the Royal Family, Jordan is only rated as having a small market for English amount the common people.[iii]   English teachers should only expect to break out even when working in Jordan.  Like much of the current Jordanian economy, the pay rate for English teachers is significantly low.  It is rumored that the average salary of a Jordanian family is only 300JD, which is what an English teacher starting out should expect to get paid.  Thanks to a low living cost, this still permits English Teachers to live somewhat comfortable if they do not have a family but doesn’t allow them to save money from their work. 
Jobs are hard to come by until you actually get to the Kingdom.  To start working in Jordan, a teacher usually needs to come and start looking for a job with face-to-face interviews.  This can be a high start off cost with no promise of a job, but once you get on-site in Jordan, you will realize the demand for English teachers is much higher that it appears on paper (or more commonly on the computer screen). 
According to the ESL Base, a website that helps English teachers find English training centers all around the world, there are thirteen English centers in Amman.  Once you start to search for a job in Amman, you will quickly find that there are many more private, small businesses where a native English-speaking teacher can find a job with either a British or an American accent.[iv]   Students want to speak with native speakers because they want to learn the accent.  This makes it easier for native speakers to get a job even if they do not have a degree, or even a certification, in teaching English. Unfortunately, this high demand for native speakers is never on par with the pay.
In Jordan, “English is strongly emphasized in education as a language that should open the door to the West.  English is regarded as the language that provided Jordanian citizens with a bridge to the non-Arabic speaking world.”[v]  Although English has no official recognition in Jordan, it is a priority in the country’s foreign languages.  Children learn it in school.  “English language teaching is widely supported financially: in university libraries, in book shops, and also in schools, one can see a wide range of English teaching-materials, books in English and about English…”[vi]
There are many factors that contribute to this seemingly over-demand for English in this Middle Eastern 90% Arab community, three of which include: overall functionality, internationalized education, and the evolving job market.  When asking an English student why they want to study English their responses are generally all the same.  It either has something to do with needing to pass an international English test or so that they can get a better job.  Commonly students might stare at you blankly as if the question is just too obvious.  The need for English in Jordan has grown so much to the point that to most citizens it is bluntly obvious that English will help contribute to their overall life.  Ironically, English has more of an affect on their lives then the desired affects of functionality, education, and getting a better job, but it also changes cultural ideas in social classes and it has profoundly impacted the younger generation in Jordan.
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Overall Functionality
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In the simplest regards, by learning English, the overall functionality in the life of the learner is greatly enhanced.  In the social realm, learning English can help you to better understand international social medias that are commonly published in English—social media such as Facebook or YouTube.  Although these programs are often translated into Arabic, many users have used these social medias to help connect with the rest of the outside world.  Most people here now have some kind of contact with people from outside of the Arab World and in order to easily communicate with them they need English.  Even if you are Arab and your friend is from Taiwan, you will most like use English to communicate with them.[vii]
The movie industry also has a huge influence on the younger generation and their desire to learn English.[viii]  When you go to a movie theatre any where in Jordan, you will find at least half of the movies are in English with Arabic subtitles.  Movies on television are often shown in English with Arabic subtitles or are dubbed in Arabic.  Although there is somewhat of a movie industry in the Arab world, it isn’t nearly as big as Hollywood or as advanced.  The inferior Arab movie industry helps feed into the appeal of the American movies that, therefore, encourages Jordanians to learn English so that they can simply understand the movies.
This functionality also evolves beyond western-based media, to technologies that were made in dominantly English speaking countries.  The Western World (meaning primarily Europe and North America) is the leader in developing new technologies that sweep the globe today.  Computers, which have become a human necessity even in lower developed countries such as Jordan, are originally programmed in English.  They might say that they are programmed for Arabic, but ultimately, you need to know English in order to function with these new technologies.[ix]  You now find that words for social media, new electronic technology (e.g. computers and phones), and even the mechanical industries (e.g. automobile) are commonly just called by their English name.  “A steering wheel is just “steering,” you can’t give it another name.”[x]
At an academic level, English is important because it allows students to stay up-to-date with the newest research.  Whereas the Western World is developing much of the new technologies and sciences, it is important for Jordanians to know English so that they can read the newest bulletin about a breaking research or so that they can comfortably attend an international conference in their field which will broaden their understanding as well as keep them up to speed with the newest advances in their field.[xi]
That being said, English for functionality is mostly based on the need to be able to stay up to par with the newest knowledge.[xii] English is the “international language” producing new research in every field.  Instead of waiting for a computer program to be translated into Arabic or instead of waiting for a new research or a new service to be translated into Arabic—a language that is hardly used outside of the Arab World—the English speaker can go directly to the source and keep themselves at the newest standard in their field.  This is one of the largest motivators for Jordanians to learn English.  It is often why you might get so many blank stares when asking them why they want to learn English.  Even though many students do not want to study English, it is considered the most practical language for life therefore students learn it.[xiii]  By knowing English they can keep up with the rest of the world.
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Internationalized Education
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The education system has constantly been evolving and has had some drastic changes in the past 50 years.  The international community affects Jordan in academic concepts and presentation in both primary education and university levels.  The influence and implantation of international curriculum and schools has continued to develop Jordan’s need of English.  As the country continues to grow in every aspect it relies more and more on foreign education standards.
Starting with the elementary school, in the past five years there has been a change in the curriculum where as students start to study English in KG1 and KG2.[xiv]  Students start to study the basics of English such as colors and shapes and their grammar and vocabulary is constantly developed through the years.  Regrettably, in most public elementary schools, the height of the education in English is largely stunted due to the lack of concentration on the subject.[xv]  In private schools on the other hand, English is highly emphasized because many of the more expensive privates schools are actually American or British schools.  These schools can often be taught completely in English (accept for Arabic and Religion which are taught in Arabic).  This gives the upper classes in Jordan a huge advantage over the rest of the population when it comes to their functionality and within the job market.
In order to graduate, ever student in Jordan has to take the national final test that is collative for all the major subjects that a student takes while in high school, which includes English.  The students are then scored according to their test results quick determines which majors they are allowed to get into.  If they do not score high enough in English, it will limit their selection for not only the university that they can get into, but also the majors that they can study.  The top desired majors, such as law or medicine, require a student to get very high scores on their national test.  If a student does not perform well in his/her English sections of the test, the student might not be able to get into the field of their choice.
 Inside the university level, international education standards dictate every part of their educational expectations.  The University of Jordan was first established in 1962 and is the oldest university in Jordan as well as the largest.  In the Middle East it is regarded as one of the best universities.  In all of its scientific majors, the lectures and the textbooks are all in English.[xvi]  Students in every popular major have to know some type of English in order to survive in their courses.  The University of Jordan tries hard to hold up to international models by holding student body elections (as a republication of western schools), holding special topic conferences, and by inviting new-foreign professors to guest teach at their university.  All of which is greatly encourages the use of the international language of English.
At the graduates level, even in Jordan, students are required to take an English Assessment Test such as the British ILETs or the American TOFEL test.[xvii]  Classes might be held in Arabic (formal or informal) but to even be accepted into a master’s program in Jordan, you are required to prove a certain proficiency in English.  The reasoning is at large discussed above—that all the latest international research is written in English, therefore, to become more advanced in any field, you need English to be able to understand the work of others.
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Evolving Job Market
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Overall, all of the reasoning above ultimately leads to the goal of Jordanians wanting to make themselves more marketable so that they can find a good job that pays well.  According to the Department of Statistics of Jordan, the current unemployment rate in Jordan is officially 12.8% but according to the US’s Central Intelligence Agency’s World Factbook, the unofficial rate is approximately 30%.[xviii]  According to the newspaper The Jordan Times, a popular Jordanian newspaper published in English, half of the college graduates in Jordan will be jobless upon graduation at the end of 2012.[xix]  When so many graduated students are sitting at home for over a year after they graduate waiting to find a job, students, young adults, and even the employed do anything they can to make themselves as desirable as they can on the demanding job market.  English is part of what makes anyone more marketable here in Jordan.
Fridrik Tiedemann, an American who has been living in Jordan for around twelve years and has an organization that teaches soft skills to Jordanians, says, “Employers overwhelmingly want English” because “knowing English means that you have a higher level of functionality.”[xx]  Interviews in Jordan are conducted mostly in English and in order to get a pay raise in Jordan, many companies require for the employee to pass some type of English test. 
For lower level jobs, such as factory workers, there is no need for employees to know English but you will not find someone in any type of management that cannot speak English.[xxi]  Because Jordan is such a small country, it requires them to go outside of the country to get any type of raw materials.  “Even the brochures they send us from Turkey are in English.”  This requires English.  Many businesses in Jordan are international companies, whether they are just Jordanian companies that trade internationally or if they are companies that come from other countries.  To be a manager in any of these companies, you must know English.
Tourism is the largest industry in Jordan and for anyone who works in the immediate public, English is a requirement because of the high number of foreigners that they will be working with.[xxii]  As Jordan grows, much of its training in nearly every field requires to send their employees outside of the Arab World for training.  This requires English.  Even the Jordanian Army requires their lieutenants to train in America and Canada.[xxiii]  English is simply the international language of business and Jordan is too small of a country to not be interacting internationally to some capacity—therefore its job market is constantly demanding for its candidates to know English.  Employers want employees that will be able to function in any situation and who will be able to easily solve problems.  English enables employees to obtain more education and helps them to be able to manage through their responsibilities easier.[xxiv]  This makes better marketability in individuals on the Jordanian job market.
The saying goes in Jordan: “English is money.”[xxv]  Even if you have low-test scores in your field, you are more likely to get the job in Jordan if you know English.
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The Affects of English in Jordan
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As globalization continues to develop a deeper need for English, there are two major affects that it plays on the citizens of Jordan.  First, English has established a dividing line between the upper and lower class, which in part, gives some type of social prestige.  The second is that by being more exposed to Western media, the western culture is slowly creeping into the younger generation that causes strife between the new and old generation, as well as a strong desire for youth to want to escape from their culture.
In the richest communities in Jordan, a Westerner can feel quite at home.  One of the richest neighborhoods holds the majority of western embassies, including the American and British embassies.  In these neighborhoods, there are very few forms of public transportation like you would find in a poor neighborhood (such as private buses or shared taxis) and restaurants and other businesses commonly put their menus in only English.  In the malls everything will be written in English and all the companies are from the west.  As people walk by in the malls you can hear a combination of both Arabic and English spoken.
In Jordan, the wealthy like to flaunt their education and therefore money by using English, rather than Arabic, on a common basis.  Some Arab parents will even speak to their children in English instead of Arabic in daily lives.[xxvi]  Because this class of people has the finances to be educated in the best schools, their English is usually substantially better than the majority of Jordanians and by speaking English, they can in part show their class.  Overall, this creates a mindset in Jordan that English is a sign of esteem or prestige.[xxvii]  In an average job, a manager might value his English speaking employee more not only for their functionality, but also just for the sack of stature.[xxviii]  The idea is that English speakers are better equipped to interact with all classes of people: foreigners, upper class, and lower class.
With an external outlook, English opens many doors for people, not just education and occupational opportunities, but also to a different culture and a different lifestyle.[xxix]  Once a youth starts to learn English, they are then exposed to a completely different world of ideas and concepts.  Often times, these ideas and concepts romanticize the Western World for many Jordanians and make them start to detest parts of their own culture.  This causes many problems in the Jordanian community.
Whereas younger people are more exposed to western ideas via the Internet or media, the older generation is not.  The younger generation is clearly starting to evolve their way of thinking by mixing both Arab culture and western culture as their parents stay with their own traditional customs.[xxx]  This creates a clash when it comes to concepts such as love and marriage, work and family, and even religion.  The generational gap has been widened by this new exposure to the western world that English has.
Immigration becomes a huge aspiration for many students.  They attend western style education, they have international friends on Facebook, and as they look around to the small country with traditional customs that surround them, they desire to leave it.[xxxi]  The more they learn about western ideas and viewpoints they more they feel disconnected to the culture around them.  More and more students not only want to learn English to get a better job, but also just to escape the trap they feel like they are in.  English opens doors to a new culture and new-international opportunities ready for exploration. 
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Conclusion
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            Although Jordan is considered to be in low demand of English, its actual demand is growing but the amount of financial support limits its supply.  Jordanians desire to learn English for many reason including being able to better adjust to the changing world, opening the door for international education, and helping people get a job after graduation.  “Jordanians need to learn English to meet the challenge of the world” which face Jordanians in media, education, and employment.  Overall this is starting to change the way that Jordanians think and interact with the world.  Because of their exposure to western society, the younger generation is starting to become more western minded as the older generation stays with the traditions of their ancestors.  As Jordan tries to meet the demands of the world they are also changing themselves within.






[i] William Cleveland, and Martin Bunton, A History of the Modern Middle East, (Boulder, CO: Westview Press, 2009), 213.
[ii] Ibed, 331.
[iii] International TEFL Academy, "English Teaching in Jordan." Accessed May 3, 2013. http://www.internationalteflacademy.com/jordan-English-teaching-jobs-abroad-middle-east/.
[iv] ESLBase, "ESLBase Teach English." Accessed April 29, 2013. http://www.eslbase.com/schools/jordan.
[v] Ulle Rannut, Minority Language Policy in the Middle East: Circassian Language Maintenance in Jordan, (Amman: The American Center of Oriental Research, 2007), 3.
[vi] Ibed, 13.
[vii] AlWan, Malik, (First Lieutenant, Jordanian Army), interview by Tasha Overpeck, Amman, May 5, 2013.
[viii] Tariq, Alia, (Recent Jordanian Graduate and English Student), interview by Tasha Overpeck, Amman, May 5, 2013.
[ix] Tiedemann, Fridrik, (Director, CGE Jordan), interview by Tasha Overpeck, Amman April 30, 2013.
[x] AlWan, Malik
[xi] AlWan, Malik; Tariq, Alia
[xii] AlWan, Malik
[xiii] Tariq, Alia
[xiv] Tiedemann, Fridrik
[xv] Tariq, Alia
[xvi] Ibed
[xvii] AlWan, Malik
[xviii] CIA, "The World Factbook." Last modified May 1, 2013. Accessed May 3, 2013. https://www.cia.gov/library/publications/the-world-factbook/fields/2129.html.
[xix] Areej Abuqudairi, "Youth unemployment remains a major challenge for Jordan," The Jordan Times (2012), http://jordantimes.com/youth-unemployment-remains-a-major-challenge-for-jordan (accessed May 3, 2013).
[xx] Tiedemann, Fridrick
[xxi] Hajeer, Asad, (Notebook Factory Owner), interviewed by Tasha Overpeck, Amman, May 5, 2013
[xxii] Ibed
[xxiii] AlWan, Malik
[xxiv] Arabiyat, Eyad, (Senior Accountant at the Arab Bank in Salt), interview by Tasha Overpeck, Amman, May 4, 2013.
[xxv] Mousa, Mohammad, (Pharmaceutical Representative), interview by Tasha Overpeck, Amman, May 5, 2013.
[xxvi] Tariq, Alia
[xxvii] Tiedemann, Fridrik
[xxviii] Ayasah, Mohammad, (TOFEL student), interview by Tasha Overpeck, Amman, May 5, 2013.
[xxix] Tariq, Alia
[xxx] Ayasah, Mohammad
[xxxi] Ayasah, Mohammad

Monday, January 28, 2013

Finding Balance

    One of my friend reminded me that I need to update my blog.  Usually I like to write about something that I've been thinking about lately but it seems that I just haven't taken the time to actually sit down and write, or I'm really distracted that I can really sit down and write down all the thoughts I have had.  I Skyped my mother a week ago and she was so upset at me because somehow, I hadn't really talked to her since before Christmas.  This last month has just been so crazy and I know for sure that I have picked up the Arab sense of time even more than what I had before.  Although there are still the same amount of hours in a day, there are less hours of sunlight because of the winter and it's really cold due to poorly insulated housing.  I started to take online classes through OU this semester and I was shocked at the differences in pace that I use to work at in the States as compared to now.
My last visit home before coming to Jordan

  That aside, the time of balance that I want to discuss isn't a matter of time or calling home, but rather a behavior balance when it comes to culture.  I have felt like I was stuck somewhere between worlds for almost two years now.  I have had a passion for the Middle Eastern culture and have made many Middle Eastern friends, but at the same time, I'm fully American with no Arab blood.  My family has little to no Arab influence besides the news channel and myself.  Therefore, whenever I'm home, I'm expected to act as an American, but when I'm with my friends at the University, I'm a mixture of American and Arab influences.  It was only once I went a broad that I could really understand what it meant to be American but I know from being here that that is my foundation.  I'm not of Arab decent so any amount of culture that I have absorbed of Middle Eastern culture has all been acquired through learning.

Mariam (Iraqi) at Galveston, TX
  In America my friends were largely Middle Eastern but one of the first things I realized was that they are Americanize Middle Easterners.  (I say Middle Eastern instead of Arab because Arab is really an ethnicity that derives primarily from the Arabian peninsula but it is not that only ethnicity that is represented here.)  That means that although they appreciate and respect their own culture, they have also opened up to allow the American culture to be evident in their lives.  One of my dear friends from Iraq once had someone say that she was "the most American Arab" that they have ever met.  Because of their Americanization, I feel that many of the things that I did which would not be accepted here in the Middle East were perfectly fine being surrounded by my Middle Eastern friends.  We were in my culture and we were just influenced by both cultures.

Now, I'm no longer in my culture and I'm expected to obeyed by the culture and traditions here, no matter who silly they might seem to me.  My struggle has been where do I draw the line?  I'm American and I will always be American.  I cannot give everything that I am to completely adopt a new culture, nor should I have to, yet, I'm still here and I need to be able to be accepted here.  Before I came here this past summer, I spent a month or two making a video to introducing the Americans at my university to Saudi culture.  I completely loved it.  It combined two of my top passions, building bridges between the Middle East and America, and media.  I concluded the video with some quotes from two of the international students at OU.  They said, "When we came to the US, we took the better of the two cultures...Overall we would be the same...but it definitely gave us another perspective...Every experience that you go through is hard in the beginning but in the end you get stronger."

Ronia-American Arab at Petra
  All of my friends ask me how Jordan is and I always answer with the same reply, "There is good and bad."  At first, of course all I could see was the bad.  One of my American friends and I would always talk about the parts of Jordan that we hated most.  She decided to go home this past holiday session and as she went back to the States, I asked her to tell me what about Jordan she missed once she was back.  A couple of weeks after she went home she told me that the one that she missed the most was simply the people.  It made me think that although there is so much about the culture that I hate, there is so much here that I love.  So much culture that is here I cannot get back in the States, or if I do, it's very limited.  I have a heart for this area of the world and the whole time that I'm in the States I'm just thinking of this region, praying about it and wondering what I can do to make a difference.  That in itself is one of the best parts of actually being here.  Then of course, there are the cute children, the delicious sweets, great Arab food, the relax sense of time, and much more.

Rojeh showing off Im Qis
  The bad on the other hand is what I struggle with.  I was talking to another friend last night and I was explaining to him exactly what the good and the bad where and he just told me, "Tasha, I told you that it would be hard for you being a girl in the Middle East."  From my observations, it is so much better being a western boy coming to this area.  Boys are free to do whatever they want.  Many native boys have their own area of the house.  They can go anywhere and do anything anytime they want.  Their parents don't regulate their lives (accept marriage) as much.  Their parents give them money until they graduate college or get married.  Boys are the pride of the family.  They want their sons to be successful so that they can say, "Look what my son did."  Parents call themselves "Abu Mohammad," "Umm Mahmood," meaning "Father of Mohammad," and "Mother of Mahmood."  Therefore whenever a boy comes the Middle East, guys see him as cool and foreign.  Everyone wants to be his friend, take you out and show you everything.  Guys make friends so easily here.  They can meet anyone and enjoy their time.  Girls on the other hand are completely different.

  While a boy is the family's pride, a girl is the family's honor.  Honor is not flaunted like pride, it's preserved.  Girls are very protected here.  They are limited to keep the honor of the girl from being tainted.  When I first got here I had an American who I had never met come up to me as we were visiting friends and started explaining to me the different ideas that people here have of western girls.  She told me a story of one day she was walking with one of her friends and found chap stick in her pocket so she decided to put it on.  Her friend immediately stopped her and scolded her.  Her friend said that putting on chap stick was like telling all the guys on the street that she wanted to have sex and that she was a whore.  This American women went on to tell me that a women's honor here can only go down.  She is born perfect but through her actions her honor is tainted and diminished and it can never go up.  Being a western women, the expectations that are broadcasted through western media creates an even lower view of western women to begin with.  So many people here are completely shocked that I don't sleep around or that I have morals that they often simply reject the idea.  "I'm western, of course I do those things."   Arab men will come up to western women and make friends with them just in order to get something out of them.  So often I watch an outspoken western girl just talking about whatever and there is a group of eastern boys all staring at her and I can tell that they don't really care about what she is talking about, but they are thinking about other things.   I walk down the street and I get so many car honks and stares.

  Really, I feel like these thoughts and expectations have hindered my personality.  I love to dance and sing but here, if a girl dances in public she is a whore.  I went shopping with one of my friends at the mall and there was a fun song on in the elevator and I started to bob my shoulder and my friend said, "What are you doing!!!  You can't do that here Tasha!"  I love to sing randomly until my boyfriend told me a story about how a Jordanian girl was singing in his college of theatre arts and a man walked in and called her a whore just because she was singing.  I can't be sweet to people because that is a sign of weakness that they will either think things of me or they will try to take advantage of me financially.  Girls here walk around with pointed eyebrows just to look serious.

  Besides the expectations that are on me, it is also very hard to have friends here.  I don't want to be friends with boys because of what they already expected out of me, but girls are hard to come by.  Because a girl is the family's honor, she is expected to be home by 5 or 6pm even in the winter.  She only goes out at night with her family.  She is not allowed to be out with people that her family does not know.  She is not allowed to go out alone without a male chaperone.  Keep in mind that these are not laws laid down by the government, but cultural expectations.  Whenever I meet a girl that I would like to become friends with, she tells  me that we could only meet in the day time whenever she is at the university.  She cannot hang out with me in the evenings or on the weekends.  This has made it extremely hard for me to make friends.

Jaresh, Jordan
  At first I thought that I would just have to live up to all the cultural expectations placed on me to be a good girl.  In American, most people have not doubts that I'm a good girl.  They're usually surprised that I love heavy music.  Here, I'm western so they already have that wrong view.  I have tried to limit myself like any good Middle Eastern girl would do here.  I never wear any shirts that don't go down to my elbows, I wear scarfs to cover my chest.  I have not worn shorts even in the house.  I never smile while walking down the street.  I sit in the back of taxis without making a sound.  I ignore my favorite songs whenever they come on the radio.   I only talk to boys if they address me first.  I don't put out my hand to shake hands with a boy unless they do first.  I always sit up straight on buses and never look around.  I only sit next to women on buses, never boys.  I do all of these things just to prevent people from thinking things of me.  It has become a huge burden on me and honestly, I feel like a large part of my spirit has left me by doing these things, which hurts me.


  I know that regardless of all of these things, I want to be here and that I want to still work in the Middle East.  I still want to work on building bridges between this world and my western world.  I want to develop understanding and trust between the two, but if I am to do that, I cannot kill myself inwardly to just fit this mold that is laid out of me.  I know that I need to find a balance where I can still be American and enjoy life, yet at the same time be comfortable here in the Middle East.  It is my fun and loving spirit that reaches so many people for the better.  By having a sour face I will never be able to reach anyone, I will simply be one of the many.  I wondered a month a go if I could simply accept that some people will think of me as a whore.  They label nearly all open girls that way so really should it be a concern of mine?  People think silly things of me back at home through misunderstanding, but I have never allowed that to hinder me before, nor should I allow it to hinder me know.  I know that my spirit can't reach everyone, but perhaps I should allow it to show well enough to reach those who will be reaches.  "He who has an ear, let him hear..." Rev. 2:29

American Eagle in Taj Mall, Abdoun 

  At the same time, I have seen American women who come here and completely close off to the culture here. They never learn Arabic, they only shop at American stores and they only spend time at American places. They work for whatever reason that they are here and some even count the days until they get to return home. This is, in my opinion, is not the best attitude either. I believe that there needs to be some kind of balance. I need to be able to preserve myself and my spirit, yet at the same time, connect with the people here so I can learn from them. If I really plan to build any bridges, I have to be able to reach both sides. "A bridge is never build from just one side." This balancing act as most is a work in progress but what has been weighing on me the most lately. I pray that once I finish this year I will be able a stronger person who feels comfortable in both worlds. Perhaps then maybe I can start to build those connections between the two worlds.